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      « Implicit/Explicit | Main | Roanoke Island »

      Declaration of Independance

      Your task will be to mimic the Declaration of Independance by declaring your independace from something.  It can be very serious, like the one we read from Stanton, or the one I wrote below, or it can be silly and frivilous.  I was going to write about declaring my independace from my fat belly, but did not have time this weekend. 

      Your paper does not have to be particularly close to the original, but should be a recognizable satire.  It should use parallel structure in its list of grievances, and also internally, as we learned from the worksheets last week. 


      Original Declaration


      Declaration of Independence from the Teaching Profession


      When in the course of human events it becomes necessary for one man to dissolve the occupational bands which have connected them with another, to assume the station to which the Laws of nature entitle him, a decent respect to the opinions of his colleagues requires that he should declare the causes which impel him to the separation.


      We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all teachers are not created equal, but are endowed by their colleges and through their experience with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Autonomy, Trust, and the pursuit of Learning.  To secure these rights, governing bodies are instituted among men, deriving their powers from the experience of the governed.  Whenever any form of government becomes destructive to those educators, it is the right of the educator to abolish it.  When a long train of abuses and usurpations reduce them to despotism and corporate control, it is their duty to throw off such government.  The history of the present governing body is a history of repeated injuries and the tyranny of the policies of the states and nation.  To prove this, let the facts be submitted to a candid world.


      They have eliminated the basic prestige of the teaching profession, creating an attitude of hatred and mistrust towards it.


      They have held down salaries for the profession, in an attempt to minimize the value of the profession to a world that values only money.


      They have added duty after duty to the profession, taking away time better spent preparing classroom lessons than doing paperwork and preparing assessments.


      They have created an unfair system of evaluations where teachers are judged based on several things that are not completely within their control.  Student test scores, student attendance, and student preparedness all effect teacher evaluations, yet, a teacher can have very little effect on those items.


      They have designed a system that will discourage teachers from staying in the profession for the long term.  Low pay, unreasonable expectations, and minimal respect will drive talented young teachers from the profession until a vacuum is created that can only be filled with underqualified, underprepared, and undermotivated candidates.


      They have allowed teaching positions in needy districts to be filled with temporary, less-qualified teachers who work for very little money.  Therefore those impoverished districts get less help and support, rather than more money for more qualified teachers.  Then when those districts underperform, it perpetuates the myth that public schools do not function. 


      In every stage of these oppressions we have petitioned for mercy in the most humble terms.  Our repeated petitions have been answered only by repeated injury.  We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us.  We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common experience to disavow these un-American attitudes.  They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and only hear the voices of their corporate masters. We must, therefore, announce our separation, rise up as a profession, and refuse to submit to these unconscionable laws any longer.

      Reader Comments (1)

      Where do I sign?

      October 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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